Since I took a long break from social media, I've had plenty of time to watch my favourite films and those that have been on the list for a long time. For example La La Land, Mamma Mia, Mary Poppins and Harry Potters. Some of these films were watched when I was a teenager and when I watch them again I get a completely different feeling.

For example, in my favourite musicals ONCE and LA LA LAND, I didn't really catch the love story between the hero and heroine. I really liked their songs, but the story failed to move me at all. However, when I watched them again a few years later, I simply couldn't control my tears and I felt so sad and sorry for their unfulfilled love. Maybe I had really grown up (a bit) and really learned about the love between people. I started to have all the regrets and unattainable love, and feel sad when some faces suddenly appeared in my mind. What a sad truth.

With Mamma Mia, well, I missed its tour in Perth, which was always a pity, I couldn't find anyone to go with me at the time and I was quite financially strapped back in my student days. But I loved all the songs and the film when I first saw it. Well, you know, the 70s to early 90s stuff had a special charm for me, and I loved ABBA's. So one time we went to see Magnums & Movies at Hubert's and it was Muriel's Wedding, an Australian comedy with a lot of ABBA songs. Everyone was singing along and during the meal a gentleman from a gay couple (I believe it was) asked me how I liked ABBA (based on my age?) I said it was all started from Mamma Mia. ABBA songs are popular on Tik Tok trends, well maybe they're always in people's heads. So for the past few weeks I've been listening to them at work.

Even for such a happy musical, I couldn't catch so many different plots. I missed so many details when I watched it before. I didn't even realise they had a gay couple too. But I will say that out of the three, even though Sam was the most handsome, I liked Harry better, haha. And then he turned out to be gay. When I watched Mary Poppins Returns, I would say the most engaging character in the movie was the wolf Willie Wilkins (as compared to poor Michael), who looked very English and familiar, sharing the same last name as my English friend, haha. The name was also familiar when I went searching for who he really was, oh, it was actually the Harry from Mamma Mia, oh well. This happened many times, even when watching porn, I used to watch the same guy, years apart, only to find out later, oh, I enjoyed his a few years ago, lol.

When I was in Melbourne last month a guy came up to me with some cute 'fattie’ photos on grindr, I said although his body wasn't perfect his face would kill all my guards making me say no. Then he disappeared for the night and a few days later, when I checked my private porn browsing Twitter, I found that I had actually retweeted the exact same picture of its real owner, an American cuddly bear, one of a cute bears couple I really like. (I always think the other one looked like a friend of mine) Oh dear, that explains why the guy disappeared, coz he could never come and see me looking like the photo he posted.

Come on, even if I just wanted to talk about the Mary Poppins Returns I just watched, I'd still end up with all the guys everywhere, which is why I think it's necessary to have such a place like this where I can say whatever I want to say, it feels good, doesn't it?

27.7.22